New Neuro.

We have a new neurologist!

There was no official "Will you be our neurologist?" proposal. This particular doctor has seen Christian in the past and remembered him and we've been seeing his colleague, another epileptologist who has been awesome, since Christian's VNS placement for increases. So we weren't exactly new to him.

It went something like this:

Dr. L.: "We can run into some trouble when there are too many neurologists involved..." (Looking through his file)

Me: (Interrupting) "That's why I'd like you to oversee Christian from now on."

Dr. L.: "Okay. Yeah, that's fine."

Me: "Okay."

And the deal was done. All of Christian's records are already in a central system so there are no problems there. The new doctor has access to all of it.

I told him about my philosophy with medication and how I'm not opposed to it, it's just that nothing has worked. He understood and we discussed some future possibilities early next year that we might try. But more to come when the time is right. I need to do some research first.

Dr. L. also increased Christian's VNS strength slightly, scheduled an appointment for February, and commented about Christian's super cool One Fish, Two Fish, Red Fish, Blue Fish Dr. Seuss shirt. He was so excited about the shirt that he stopped everything to show the intern. Oh, and he also taught us both about a reflex in little ones and older people. When you tickle his palm, his chin quivers. No, I didn't know that! Neat!

I was thinking about what my big problem was with the last doctor and what I can do differently in the future after the appointment. Part of me wants my opinion respected and I want to be the final word and have all control over my son. But the other part of me wants the doctor to take some ownership and lead us with suggestions and new ideas. It's been really hard for me to let go and allow that to happen with neurologists. And really, it's a trust issue. I just didn't trust the former neurologist with decisions regarding my son. So I could never really let go a little. Furthermore, I never felt fully trusted by him. I don't think he ever trusted that I would follow his directives. And maybe I wouldn't. No trust. In contrast, I fully trust our pediatrician, and I feel fully trusted by him. I know he respects me as a parent and he's not afraid to offer suggestions, whether I take them or not.

So one of my New Year's resolutions is to work on trusting this doctor and seeing where that takes us.