Does my okay-ness offend you?
No, this isn't what I envisioned for myself or for my family, and definitely not for my little boy. But it's our life. And we've claimed it as ours. And, you know what? We're happy with it.
(Gasp!)
How could she be happy? How is she so okay? How dare she be okay?
I am okay and sorry I'm not sorry about it.
We're all okay and if that offends you, maybe you should get happier.
I understand that when I tell our story, unsuspecting strangers are punched in the gut. They're dealing with it for the first time and it makes them sad.
I understand that we've had almost four years to be okay and those unsuspecting strangers haven't had time to process but I really don't need you to be sad for us. And I don't want you to be sad for yourself either.
The truth is that more things in my life make me happy than make me sad. Christian's smiles make me happy. Lola's singing at the top of her lungs makes me happy. Gabe getting excited that I remembered to buy bacon cheese bagels at the store makes me happy.
The ferocity of support from our friends and cheerleaders rising up like a wave out of the ocean to defend and go to bat for us makes me happy. More than happy. That wave carries us and erases all that is negative and bad.
How can I be sad, really? I have friends and family, food to eat, a roof over my head, my kids are here to kiss and hold. What is there to be sad about?
Here's the thing...life goes on with or without you. You can either go happy or go sad. One thing that irritates me is a person that can't deal with life. A person who has nothing to be sad about but still finds a way to find the sadness in any situation possible. Maybe it's comforting to them. Maybe sorrow is comforting and happiness is scary. So if they can't get happy, how dare I get happy.
Well, sorry I'm not sorry we're happy. And not the fake Facebook persona kind of happy. Really, truly, happy.
Bad things happen in life. Really bad things. But we've made the choice to feed the good wolf. We've made the choice to at least attempt to overcome. You know, bloom where we're planted, use what we have, rise like a Phoenix.
My hope for this blog is to not only share our journey but to help other families understand that after the dust settles it can be okay. It won't always be sad and there is happiness on the horizon. Some days you may need to look harder for it than others but, I swear, it's there.
You are worthy of it. I am worthy of it. And it's nobody else's business otherwise.
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12 comments:
Beautifully said....
Bacon cheese bagels?!?!? I am with Gabe. that would make me happy!!!
You are a rockstar with tons of positive support. Way to keep it real!
AMEN, AMEN, AMEN!!!! I love your perspective. While somedays (this morning being one) I havent' been happy, but this is just one morning. I still have the rest of my day to change it. There is alot to be happy about. Our children are alive, they show us love, we show them love and we are HAPPY!
Lisa & Brockman
Yes! Sunny side of life! You have to find the happy in life, no matter what life hands you. We're just the lucky ones.
Thanks for meeting with me today, I had a good time. I love your attitude and how infectious your spirit is. I've had 7 1/2 years to become "OK" with our situation and although I have my moments I think that we are generally happy and "OK" and the only people that are sad for us are people who don't really know us. I'm not sad and neither is my child, he's the happiest little kid I know and I feel pretty lucky that I get to be his mom!
YOU make me happy Shauna - as usual, your words just make me want to say AMEN and I'm not even a "religious" person. I love your take on life - the good and the bad - such a healthy soul you have.
I really needed this.. thank you
Your perspective on life has helped me get through some of my struggles, Shauna, and it's not because "Oh she has it worse." It's because you're able to take a situation that could break people, very easily, and make it become your new normal; making it "okay" for your family to feel safe, loved, supported, and perfectly fine! It helps me to be determined to do the same for our family, and I thank you for that. <3
LOVE THIS POST.
I so needed to read this today. Thank you
Beth Anderson
Yes! It's a choice. Every.single.day I go third world. I think third world. Roof over my head. Heat in my house. Food to eat. Everyone is comfortable. No roadside bombs. No lives being lost. Everyday could be worse. Every.single.day without cancer, disease, devastation, etc...is a good day.
We lived how much worse it could be...like in the very beginning, so we know. I don't ever want to go back there. Every day is a gift. Live it. Love it!
I love the expression "feed the good wolf". I'm glad you're "ok" - you certainly deserve a little OK-ness!
I think it's great that you and your family are so "normal" (for lack of a better word) - and I love your other blog too. It shows that life can go on, and can be really good, even after a terrible tragedy!
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