The Stomping Sister

We have been enjoying summer and trying to stay out of the heat! Christian especially likes to swim at Gramma and Grampa's pool because it's so warm. He loves the warmth and cold is kryptonite. 

Lola found some slime in the dollar spot at Target. It was all the rage in our house last week.

Of course, Lola is "helping."

Lola is always helping with Christian and it's always funny to watch. I'm glad she's so close to Christian and feels so strongly about him. She wants to help feed him, she gets excited when he smiles, she's one of his biggest fans. 

She knows he's special. I could always tell she could sense it even as a baby. But now she understands. I've made a joke about Christian running and messing up her toys and she quickly corrected me with, "Christian can't walk!" as if I were just being ridiculous. So I told her maybe he did it in his dreams and she totally bought it. 

I have been noticing that she has been a little more daring and less careful with him. The other day I was getting Christian ready for a bath and had him laying down on a towel on the floor. As I was gathering his clothes I could hear Lola singing and talking and stomping. I peaked around the corner and found Lola stomping around Christian on the floor. She had a foot raised and was slowly lowering it down to stomp in between his legs. Like, stomp on him!

I seriously freaked. I yelled, "What are you doing?! Don't do that!" 

I couldn't believe she was going to stomp on her brother. She was so scared she ran to her bed. I made her apologize and everything but I've been thinking about it for the last few days. Especially yesterday when she hit Christian with one of her dolls on purpose. 

I have two thoughts about this.

1. She knows better! She knows she has to be more careful. And we should be more careful with Christian. He's kind of breakable. We don't kick or stomp or hit Christian. Ever!

and 

2. Isn't this how brothers and sisters act, though? I don't want her to have a complex. I mean, this is our "normal." And I don't want her life and relationship with him to be "careful." I want it to be natural for her. Should I be allowing her to rough play with him? Is this instinctual to be mean to your brother, regardless of disability? Shouldn't I be happy she feels he is normal enough to take it? She treats him like he is normal. Even Christian can't escape Lola's wrath.

These are the questions I ask myself because I don't know how to apply a normal brother-sister relationship to them. I guess I don't really need to apply it because they're redefining it. 

But no stomping on your brother.

And, for the record, Christian doesn't make a peep when she's hitting him with her doll or stomping around him. So she hasn't hurt him yet. And that's saying something because he is the biggest cry baby!

Oh, and I finally sat down to fill out the paperwork for Christian's kindergarten class. I've been putting this off because of the amount of paperwork I have to fill out. I'm not one to get sad and weepy about filling out the blank lines awaiting answers about my child's development. I actually think it's kind of funny. 

Wanna know if my kid has any social or developmental concerns? You got some time? Wanna go get a drink? This is going to be long.

The developmental milestone checklists are a big, fat goose egg. But the medical portions? I could go on and on. Paragraphs of diagnoses.

Read that carefully. 

But at least it's getting done.

We're also closing in on Christian's other birthday. The day he came back to us. I've got some thoughts so stick around.

Kindergarten for Christian!

Kindergarten is on the horizon! 

(Can you believe that? Because I can't. He's still a baby!)

We're done with IEP meetings and goals and I've toured two kindergarten classes and two schools.

I have to admit that touring the kindergarten classes was a little overwhelming. It is definitely way different than the kindergarten I attended. I went in to see kids maybe in circle time or coloring. What I actually saw were kids learning on iPADs and projects involving butterfly chrysalis (I had to google that spelling. Maybe I should go back to kindergarten.)

If I'm being honest, it's hard for me to envision Christian's place in a classroom like that. But I also remember feeling that way when I toured the preschool class and the preschool experience has been an amazing adventure for Christian. He just loves being around all the kids and they love him so much! They greet him every day, in fact, just today his little friend ran up to him and put his picture of a fireman in Christian's face to make sure he saw it. And yesterday I found a little folded up picture in his backpack. When I pulled it out, I saw this:

That's Christian's little friend. She drew him a picture of herself holding hands with him. That's his wheelchair with all four wheels. 

Be still my heart.

We'll miss preschool so much but kindergarten is ahead! And we've made the final decision about where Christian will go.

Luckily, our district has what is called a cluster program. This allows children to join in mainstream classes when they can and then break out for individual learning and therapies. This is what Christian will do. He'll probably join in for everything social like music and library and then break out for PT and OT. This is the best of both worlds. 

I briefly thought about looking into the type of program that is primarily for children with special needs, however, for as long as it's right for Christian, I'd like him to have exposure to typical children as much as he can. He thrives off of it and I think it's really good for the other kids, too. I think we'll know when and if the time is right to move him.

The school we chose is a block away. I can hear the morning announcements echoing from my bathroom window! And this school has a long history of being the first elementary school in the district to have a special needs/integrated/cluster program. They also get a brand new, handicap accessible playground for the kindergartners! We met the incoming director of the special education classroom and she is genuinely interested in really getting to know Christian. I'm so excited for him and I feel really good about this.

School has been one of the best things for Christian and his progress. He has become more tolerant of noise and action, he really enjoys being out and about now, and he has become more vocal! I think it has a lot to do with being around noisy friends at school.

And Christian? He is doing so well. It's more than I could have asked for. I just wanted him to smile and the rest would be extra. Now he's not only smiling but smiling in response to what we say or what we do. If we show him something he likes, he'll give us his half smile. If I tickle his leg or his cheek, he smiles. The other day I told him Lola brought his stuffed frog with her to pick him up, I showed it to him and he smiled. His daddy picks him up and bounces him around, spins him in his chair, and he smiles. He has even done what we think might be laughing when he gets spun!

He's also "talking" a lot! For a kid who was completely silent for months then only cried and sobbed for years, vocalization is like...well...a miracle! It is like music to my ears waking up and hearing him making sounds in his bed. Even better is when he vocalizes in response to when someone talks to him. 

Just when I think that's all he's got, he shows me more...almost four years later! He is such a lesson in hope and never giving up. Never underestimating. He is just amazing.

"Motherhood is about raising-and celebrating-the child you have, not the child you thought you would have. It's about understanding that he is exactly the person he is supposed to be. And that, if you're lucky, he just might be the teacher who turns you into the person you are supposed to be." 

~The Water Giver~

(Courtesy of my friend, Sarah's, emails. I think about this quote every time Christian teaches me something. Which is pretty much every day.)