I have wanted to be a mother for as far back as I can remember. When I was little I would correct my playmates' form in how they were holding their baby dolls. Two characteristics sprouting at an early age - the need to be right, and the need to mother.
I would write down the names of each and every child I had - first and middle names for all - all six of them but who's counting?
After "growing up" and considering the cost of having such a large family (and when I reference cost, I not only mean monetary cost, but the cost of sanity, as well), I was blessed enough to have half of what I had originally intended.
Yes, I have three very good reasons to celebrate Mother's Day today. Sometimes it feels like six. But I'm pleased that there is noise and chaos in the house. And doubly pleased when the clouds part and the heavens shine down and...gasp!...both of the babies are asleep at the same time!
This is the second Mother's Day in a row where I've had this nagging feeling of sadness and empathy for others on this day. It's a really tough day for a lot of people.
I think about the women who long to be mothers, who wish they could fully celebrate this day with their own children. I think about the pain they feel.
I also think about the moms struggling with making things work for their children who live in a world that doesn't work for them. I think about the mom standing close to her baby's bedside hoping for a discharge.
I think about women who have lost their children. Mothers who have lost their sons in war overseas. Mothers who have lost their babies to a different kind of battle. All soldiers, none the less.
And then I am incredibly grateful and terribly humbled by the amount of love and noise and chaos there is around every corner in this here house of ours. I am humbled by the opportunity to be responsible for the life of these little ones I call mine.
Happy Mother's Day.
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Monday, May 9, 2011
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