The Wise Words of Linus

My feelings about this Christmas can best be summed up in a quote from Charlie Brown in Charlie Brown's Christmas.

[Charlie Brown and Linus stop at a wall on their trip to the pond for ice skating]

"I think there must be something wrong with me, Linus. Christmas is coming, but I'm not happy. I don't feel the way I'm supposed to feel. "

This was the case until Christmas Eve when all the presents were purchased, wrapped, and under the tree. Yes, I had a lot going on. But I also couldn't shake that grinchy feeling. I was trying to focus on the meaning of Christmas and how thankful we are for having our children there with us to celebrate. I will admit, it was hard. It was hard not to picture Christian and what it would have been like to see him tear into his presents, only being interested in the paper and boxes rather than the presents. True, it could have been a very sad Christmas for us not having Christian there with us, but those what if's still haunt me sometimes if I'm tired and let them creep in. It also didn't help that Christian had been particularly cranky and irritable the days leading up to Christmas.

As soon as Christmas Day hit my fog was lifted! It was time to be with family, and really celebrate what Christmas is all about. Christian woke up in a good mood and was really calm and relaxed, which is a gift in itself after a couple of days of a tight, cranky baby. I think a fog lifted for him, too, that day.

Now I've prayed consistently every night, and I know my husband has prayed consistently every morning for Christian to smile. On Christmas Eve I told God that all I wanted for Christmas was a smile from Christian. So on Christmas I put Christian in his chair and scooted him up to the table while I made cookies and peppermint bark. I started talking to him and playing with him, pulling out all the stops to get him to smile. He looked at me...and the left corner of his mouth lifted in a half smile! The best half smile I've ever gotten in my life! I thought I might be imagining things so I tried to make him do it again before I went and told anyone. I was unsuccessful, but I know those smiles are in there now and I know more are coming. It was by far the best Christmas present I could have received.

Christian was also particularly entertained by Christmas lights.

Christian grabbing at the tree.

More excited by the lights on the Christmas tree than the presents underneath.

And so I leave you all with my very favorite monologue by Linus and his perspective on the meaning of Christmas.

"And there were in the same country shepherds abiding in the field, keeping watch over their flock by night. And lo, the angel of the Lord came upon them, and the glory of the Lord shone round about them: and they were sore afraid. And the angel said unto them, 'Fear not: for behold, I bring unto you good tidings of great joy, which shall be to all people. For unto you is born this day in the City of David a Savior, which is Christ the Lord. And this shall be a sign unto you; Ye shall find the babe wrapped in swaddling clothes, lying in a manger.' And suddenly there was with the angel a multitude of the heavenly host, praising God, and saying, 'Glory to God in the highest, and on earth peace, good will toward men.'"

[Linus picks up his blanket and walks back towards Charlie Brown]

"That's what Christmas is all about, Charlie Brown."