Our Birthday

We're just coming off of Gabe's birthday party. Birthday parties are really the best because they bring family and friends and cake. What's better, really?

My boys' birthdays are 3 days apart. But they're 10 years apart. Hardly appropriate to have their birthdays combined. And since we do parties and do them big, there's really no way to have two in the same weekend. That's not practical for the boys, the guests, and it's not practical for our pockets. So we have agreed to have Gabe's birthday party this weekend and Christian's next weekend.

As I'm typing, I am now coming into the first 20 minutes of Christian's 2nd birthday. That's right! August 1st is Christian's birthday.

As Christian is getting older, it becomes more and more obvious how far apart he is from other two years olds, especially when observing other toddlers. I mean it's been about 10 years since I had a toddler so I forget what they're supposed to be doing until I see one. And then I'm like - Oh, he's supposed to be doing that? Yeah, he's supposed to be doing that.

I'm not resentful or angry or even really sad. I guess I suppose if you catch me on a bad day I'd be sad but there haven't been too many of those lately. Those moments of observing other toddlers serve more as a reminder. But it's not a reminder I spend all that much time with.

Yesterday was one of those happy days. And as I held Christian as he was falling asleep I thought - He's going to be two tomorrow! And I thought about his birth and how we were so excited and my chest literally began to swell with pride. I felt at that moment (and still do) how lucky I am to be his mom.

People tell me about how lucky Christian is to have us as parents. We're the lucky ones. I am so lucky to be the mom of this little creature. I'm so lucky I get the privilege of watching Christian grow into the boy God wants him to be. I get to watch him touch the lives of those around him. I am so lucky.

So with that chest swelling, that overwhelming sense of pride and excitement, I have to add a little fuel to that fire.

I've been playing a lot of This Time Last Year and since July 8, 2010 - the one year anniversary - I always win at that game. This time last year was the first weekend at Hacienda in Phoenix. It was his very first birthday and when I think about the sadness I felt on that day that Manny and Gabe came to visit us and how I broke down while reading Christian's birthday cards, I almost have to catch my breath at how thankful I am to be where I am right this moment.

I was thinking about how medically involved Christian was at the time. I think about how many supplies were needed - trache changing, gaws, trache ties, suction machines, humidity tube thingy.

Now there is no trache, there is no suction, there are no light blue trache ties with little ducks on them, no tubes, other than the one that goes to his stomach. And just loosing all of that, all that ties us to that time in our life, there is peace.

Although we aren't having Christian's party until next weekend, we will still celebrate a little bit. I mean it is his real birthday, after all.

In a way, it's our birthday. We celebrate the gift we were given two years ago. We had no idea what was in store but we're so thankful for this boy. And it will be a truly happy birthday for all of us, in deed.