AMAZING

a⋅maz⋅ing
–adjective
causing great surprise or sudden wonder.

Christian amazes me. People use the word 'amazing' like they use the word 'cool.' But I'm experiencing what 'amazing' really means. I'm finding amazement in the progress he makes everyday. He makes these little leaps and bounds and he's a fighter! Let me explain further...since Christian has come off the sedation his eyes have been rolled up. At first, you could only see the bottom rims of his eyes and then only the white part. Everyday, they've come down a little further and a little further. Today they were almost dead center. And I actually witnessed him trying to control his eyes moving from side to side. I could see him working to try and figure this whole eye-looking-seeing business out. I was amazed by Christian, I was amazed by the human body, and I was amazed by God. Every part of that was a miracle we thought we were going to loose and every part of his looking experimentation, and that I got to witness it, was a gift.

I also snuggled Christian a little today. I'm a snuggler with my kids. Gabe only lets me do it at home with nobody around and Christian was always just too busy to stay still, but I always got my kissies and huggies in. Today I put my cheek up to his and whispered in his ear how much I loved him. I put my hand on his belly and watch him move his head from side to side slowly. As I put my cheek against his again, I felt him stop and rest into me as I whispered. Now Christian's hands are always moving now but I looked down and his hand was rested over mine. Now that's amazing. Maybe it was a coincidence of reflexive movement all resting at once but I choose to believe he wanted snuggles from Mommy.

Little by little, wires and tubes are beginning to disappear. Today, Christian's arterial line was taken out, much to Christian's liking. He's been fighting that thing for days. He has bruises on his arm from resisting the tape. Again, such a little fighter. He's much happier and can now move his left hand freely. His lungs are also looking great on the x-rays so his secretions seem to be decreasing and that makes me feel better. He's adjusting to his feeds well, too. No surprise there. If there is one thing about my boy, he likes to eat and no silly brain injury will change that!

As for cough and gag, none yet. The appointment for his trach surgery is Tuesday or Wednesday, whenever they can fit him in. I got news from the surgeon today that "somehow" he ended up on the schedule for first thing Monday morning (that's tomorrow). I said I wasn't comfortable with that. I wanted to at least give him until Tuesday or Wednesday. Then I will know we gave him time. It's not permanent. The surgeon said if he gets it Tuesday and he strengthens his cough and gag reflex over night, they can take it out the next day. We'll just do whatever he needs. That's my motto. The quicker he's disconnected from machines, the quicker we can get on with his recovery. But we're waiting until Tuesday or Wednesday.

Christian is also receiving a mild muscle relaxer to help with his tone. The doctor said it would help weed out what was purposeful movement and what was posturing movement. Well, HE'S STILL MOVING!!! Even on the medication. He gets those arms going and it looks like he's ready to punch someone out. That someone is probably any negative doctor that steps foot in this hospital room.

I received a beautiful, not to mention, tasty delivery today. It was an Edible Arrangement from my August Mamas group. It had chocolate covered bananas and strawberries, and my favorite - mango! Their support has really been nothing short of AMAZING in it's truest sense. I've never felt such support and love in all my life. I feel like they're my family and I'm truly blessed to be a part of their Mommyhood. Thank you will never be enough. They've also helped to spread the word about Christian and THAT means the world to me. I get a little emotional just thinking about it...talk amongst yourselves.

Two more things...I've received donations, some from around the world, and I can't even believe the kindness and love that exists in this world. It inspires me to be a better person and there is no question these donations will help with Christian's recovery. God bless you! Furthermore, I'm a little bit of a blog virgin/idiot so if you ask me a question in the comments section, trust me, I'm sitting here dying to answer you but haven't quite figured it out yet. As soon as I do, I'll respond. I promise I'm not ignoring you so I'm going to answer you in my blogs in the meantime.

HOLY CRAP! I just took a break to talk to the hospital pastor. He asked if we could pray and, of course, I'm always down for prayers for Christian! But this time I specifically asked if we could pray for his cough and gag reflex. After our prayer he walked out and the respiratory therapist came in to do percussion (pounding on his chest to loosen up junk) and Christian COUGHED!!! You cannot make this stuff up!!! Thank you, God! When people tell you God is good, believe them. God is good.

God is amazing.