A Break.

Today was a nice break. We didn't do anything new, nothing experimental, just a break. I had a lot of much needed alone time, with Christian, of course.

Christian is moving even more now. A neurologist that I actually like came by and observed Christian. She made a comment that Christian's right arm really seems to be moving with intentional movement rather than reflexive or posturing movement. THIS IS GOOD - to get a neurologist to admit that SOMETHING is progressing is progress for me. She was a lot more of the 'let's see what he can do' attitude, which is my philosophy.

Christian now has periods of sleep and wakefulness. When he's sleeping, all is peaceful. When he wakes up, I know it. His breathing picks up, I can hear rustling around. He really reminds me of a newborn in his movement. He's also so strong he's about to bust out his arterial line. This is a line that measures your blood pressure in the most accurate way possible. His is especially sensitive because they had to do a "cut down" - I think that's what it's called - this is where they had to peel back his skin to actually look at his arterial vein because the vein is so tiny, they kept missing it. Anyway, they've had to restrain his left arm with TWO boards and a lot of tape. But he keeps breaking free from the tape. He is so strong! And the nurses keep saying so because he basically wrestles them when they're trying to change his positions. He had a nurse sweating today, although, by the looks of it, the nurse probably had a predisposition to sweat a lot.

I think it's so funny that Christian's stubborn personality shines through at the funniest moments. He has to be turned from side to back to side and he prefers his left side. So when he's on his back, he manages to wiggle himself back to the left. When he's on his right side, he'll keep his head turned to the left and struggle against laying on his right side. HE'S STUBBORN! But Manny remarked that maybe he likes that side so much because that was the position he liked to nurse in. I bet you any nurse or doctor would deny it but I choose to believe that reasoning.

So new developments...we're talking about starting a medication, I forgot what it's called, but it helps relax his muscles to improve his tone. Tone is the stiffening of muscles and locking of his joints he does when he postures. This can lead to muscle atrophy. So by giving him this medication, he will loosen up a bit and relax those muscles. We also discussed the gtube, which will be his feeding device. A little part of me is sad about this (surprise) because I want him to experience food and flavors and sushi. I'm so glad I didn't hold back when letting him taste things before the accident. I'm just sad he won't get to have any 1st birthday cake. Someday he'll be strong enough and on that day, he'll get a HUGE birthday cake!

We're also starting to talk about long term care. It will be A LOT! Meaning we have a long road ahead of us. But I'm so ready to get going.

Today I did some things to feel normal again. I watched some trashy reality television clips on Bravo.com, I caught up with the Mama's from my August Moms group, and I'm considering spending the night with Gabe on Monday so he can have some time with Mom and Manny can come stay with Christian. The more normal I make my surroundings, the more sane I can stay, and the stronger I can be for Christian.

Still praying hard for that cough and gag reflex.