Hungry Hungry Hippo

I'm going to try and not be long winded (we'll see how that goes) but I couldn't go to sleep without reporting Christian's accomplishments. I have this habit of staying up really late - it's almost midnight - and getting up super early. I get up at anywhere from 6AM to 7:30AM. I'm just too excited to find out what the day is going to bring for Christian so I can never go back to sleep. Besides Christian has trained me well and would never approve of me sleeping past 7:30AM.

Christian breathed on his own for the whole day. He has help from a small mask that gives him moisture but that's it. There were no hiccups, no rough spots, he never got tired...he did great! In fact, they even removed the ventilator from the room. The darn thing just up and left. It's getting a lot more roomy in here all of the sudden. They also removed his central line which is where they drew all his blood. They didn't put an IV in either, because there is no longer a need. He also lost his temperature probe and a whole mess of machines. The only thing left are his feeding tube and sensors for his hear rate, pulse, and oxygen saturation.

But the best thing was...I got to pick him up right out of bed and hold him. Now this was better than the first time I held him because he was connected to about 150 wires, he was propped on a pillow, and it still felt physically distant. Tonight I got to pick him up, lay him in my lap, and cradle him. I didn't cry last time but I did this time. I felt like I was holding a newborn baby for the first time. When I first picked him up and sat down he was stiff but then he settled right in and fell asleep twice. The first time he woke up because I was sniffling and trying to reach for the camera. I couldn't help but get emotional. I felt the connection between us and I was just overcome because I felt like he knew he was with his mama. I was just so amazed that a connection could still exist even after so much trauma and injury and hurt that he's been through. Love still prevails and it's awe-inspiring.

I also noticed something else, and I'm sure the doctors will second guess me all over the place. I even second guessed myself and thought maybe I was seeing things. Well, Christian tends to turn his head to the right like he favors that side (it used to be the left). I happened to be holding him with my left arm so if he turned to his right, he'd turn his face toward me. I started stroking his cheek and noticed he was tensing up his neck muscles and trying to move toward my finger. I made a knuckle with my finger, which is something we used to do to subside him when he was in the car and very little. It was like a makeshift pacifier. Well I made a knuckle and he kept turning his face toward it as I rubbed it on his cheek - like a rooting reflex in newborns. Then he was able to turn his face so that his little mouth rested over my knuckle - like he wanted to nurse!!! Now I don't know if rooting reflex resurfaces or if he just remembers nursing, smells me, and was trying to piece it all together. But I did this several times, so I'm sure I wasn't mistaken. I even called the nurse in to ask her about it and witness what he was doing, but, of course, Christian was all wiped out by then and was only just turning his head by that time. Now if anyone knows Christian, you know that he was addicted to nursing. He came out of the womb ready to eat, latched on, and didn't stop until the accident. So while I'm excited that something could possibly be awakening in his brain, I'm not surprised by my little hungry hippo.

I'm a little nervous about Phoenix and how that's just a few days away but I'm also excited because Christian will get rehab services and all kinds of good things to get him going. It will be so great for him so I'm glad it's required.

One more thing...I'm so amazed by the kindness of the human spirit. You go around thinking nobody cares about anything but themselves, in fact, I'm guilty of being completely self involved. But then something like this happens and God shows you who people really are. God shows you who you really are. I have received many message about how people are inspired by Christian's fight and my strength in this journey to recovery. But it is all of you who inspire me. I know I can be optimistic and charge through another day because I have all of your thoughts and prayers lifting us up. It has changed my life.

Sorry about the whole promise to try and not be long winded thing. That never works out for me.